This is what I put up in Face Book. Just thought of sharing with you. This does not allow 'formating' - so some that I highlighted thru' bold/ underline etc. missing. Shall be happy to know yr views too. Raju/ 9/5/2011.
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Happy Mother’s Day.
Random Thoughts, by pvr, hoping that they are relevant. :)
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Happy Day for all Mothers… young or old, mine, or your’s, his or her’s
Every lady with at least one child, own or adapted, IS a MOTHER.
Happy mothers are those who have happy offspring. Right? "happy"...? Few Tips.
During childhood and Primary schooling:
1) All attention, care and cuddling must be given – along with some space for rolling free on floor, to move about, feel around or just to enjoy being away from arms.
2) Timely food, good nutritional food is a must – but with a knowledge and skill to know what is “TIMELY’ and what is “ADEQUATE” food.
2.a) A chubby baby will attract good attention and praise from all around.
2.b) Alas, a grown up, fat, glutton will become a punch bag of all tease and ridicule and, the grown up baby will squarely blame…., at least silently …. Yeah, you know who.
3) Not all children are eager to smile at every stranger, at least immediately nor can identify who is ‘good’ and who is not.
3.a) Teach/ coach / counsel – steadily, but never hurriedly or with an admonition or threat.
4) Bed time stories are a must even for a 7 year old child; but with office & house duties making the mother too tiered, still the story has to be told and please tell that with full energy and enthusiasm that meets with the kid’s expectation.
5) Child hood illnesses need to be attended to; but never to be scared off.
5.a) Adults catch cold at one sip of cold water/ ice cream or one drop of rain 100 miles away. Reason is, as a child, THAT adult was NOT allowed to get such a thing and ‘BUILD’ immunity.
5.b) In almost all zero temperature parts of the world, more quantity of ice cream is consumed, by yes, kids also.
Above all, be prepared: initially for few months child will continue to say “My maa knows everything & what she doesn’t is NOT worth knowing”. Few months post schooling, and having experienced the Teacher’s newer skills/ power/ wisdom/ art of ‘engaging’, same child may say “my mom knows nothing & even if she knows SOMETHING, is NOT worth knowing”. Learn to welcome it with a smile. After all, almost all mothers have done this before, years ago.
And, yes by all means, take help from your partner/ parents/ parents-in-law. Or even friends. You know that Rome or Taj Mahal was neither built in one day nor by ONE person. Building the charecter in a child also not possible in 1 day.
And, when they are young,
- Teach them to be courageous, but not to be a bully.
- Teach them to be honest, even under adverse situations
- Teach them to shun lies and liars; encourage them to speak truth & seek truth
- Teach them, it is ok to fail, as long as they learn the cause and want to rectify. Help them to recover
- Teach them TV is not everything; show them joys of reading books & of playing out in the grounds
More than everything, please practice what you preach.
During Teenage/ College/ marri- age:
- Just a strategy: Don’t give fish to eat; teach them to fish and cook.
- Share your all day experiences/ gains & losses.
- Allow them to point out if they feel that you made a wrong response.
- Never should a direction be given, but help them to ‘develop’ OPTIONS and
encourage them to check around and CHOOSE. Be it for a college or a subject or a fiancée.
Your happiness index will be the confidence level in the offspring to confide in you and to consult with you whenever they feel a need for it.
You should also develop the habit of truly consulting with your grown up son/ daughter on all matters - budget/ savings/ purchases/ investments/ loans ... all.
Finally, I remember one quote that I read in Readers Digest 20 years ago, (when my elder son was just 10 years): If you can leave behind just two things in life for your loved ones, let them be
1) Knowledge &
2) Enthusiasm.
Live your days happily, as you would love your children also live their lives happily. Cheers. :)
