lupus...

a whole life of being sick, u would think that i would be use 2 it by now, but the problem is, is that the older i get, the worse the sickness gets. it can throw me off the face of the earth for months and then it can not even be apparent for years. so i try 2 listen 2 the doctors as if they were trying 2 help me and not just use me as a ginnie pig or a pin cushion. lupus is like a catch 22 for me, on one hand, i don't want 2 take the meds they percribe me, but if i don't i'll just keep ending up in the er. my outside appearance looks as if im about 24, but my insides are probably like a 90yr old. so i try my hardest 2 be healthy and happy, but it's hard 2 catch up 2 normal when i stay so sick. peace and love...coco