Florence Sylvia Rosenberg (Willner) - Mom Passed Away this Week

I lost my mother yesterday. She was 87 years old so I have been ready for this for a while, but no matter how you try to prepare for something like that, it completely different when it happens. It is just a really hard thing. I spent most of the day thinking back over my 55 years of life and all the different forms of our relationship. When I was little mom spoiled us rotten. Our family had no money, but yet she still managed to spoil us, mostly with love. Some of my earliest memories are of her singing my sister Laura and I to sleep every single night, sitting on the end of our beds until we were out. There were the typical lullabies, Tumbalalika and I Gave My Love a Cherry, but most of the songs she sang were protest songs, civil rights songs, workers songs, or peace songs: Down By the Riverside, The Banks are Made of Marble, Oh Freedom, and This Land is Your Land. Those were the standards and she made them all sound so sweet. Throughout my childhood in the 60’s and 70’s my parents dragged us around to marches, protests, vigils, and demonstrations. Because of her, I already knew all the songs.

We had our battles, and I remember being chased around the house many times with a hairbrush or a spatula. I don’t think she ever caught me, and I am pretty sure that if she did, nothing would have come of it, but she put up a good charade.

My mom lived a pretty tough life growing up in the Bronx during the depression and losing both parents by age 13. Fortunately, she and her younger sister Doris had two older siblings; Bea and Ben, to care for them. Also their aunt Rose who took them all in to her crowded apartment in the Bronx, but barely had enough money for her own children. Mom’s brother Ben had to turn down a scholarship to Columbia so that he could provide for the younger kids. She never forgot that.

My mom was a very sharp woman, though she never had the opportunity to go to college. She was a stay-at-home mom during my youngest years, until things got really tight for our family and she needed to go back to work. In her early 40s, she finally learned how to drive (that was exciting), not unusual for an NYC girl, but a real limitation on Long Island where we lived. I can remember some tense times in the car with my dad trying to teach her, until they both realized it would be better if she went to the local driving school and learned from a stranger. After not working since her 20s, she began at a market research company doing surveys in shopping malls and on the phone. From there she just kept moving up in the business, until she became Field Director for Admar Market Research, where she worked for about 20 years. As field director, she relied on one of her best traits. She made friends everywhere and she was loved by everyone. Any time she would go to the supermarket or ride a bus, by the time she was through, she had made several new friends. All around the country she hired research firms that would turn down the least desirable jobs from other market research companies, but not from Admar, if it was a job for Florrie. Even after she retired she still did the occasional contract work for Admar, and at age 87, this week she had a small market research job she was working on.

Living in Oregon is great, but the downside is that I didn’t get to spend enough time with my parents (nor the rest of my family) as an adult. They traveled to Oregon, and I went back to NY, but it was never enough. I was lucky that I was able to help her in her recovery from hip replacement five years ago and she stayed out here with us for 15 months. Then this June, she just had to come out to see Sam, her first grandchild graduate from high school. She flew across the country by herself at age 87 with three connections each way. LaGuardia, Chicago, San Francisco, Eugene - No problem if it meant seeing her grandkids Sam and Emma. She stayed with us for almost a month and Anae and I cherished that visit. It was hard to let her leave and I had a feeling that it might be the last time I would see her. Kids learn at an early age that their parents aren’t perfect and it was no exception for me. But I can honestly say there was no mother out there kinder, more caring, or friendlier than my mom. I will miss her dearly.