Erica - re: "and we do try to raise active managers to resolve for themselves. " - I have no doubt that you are one of many curators that do function that way - but you may have noticed I am on here pretty frequently - and several times Curators have done forcible merges on Profiles I manage without any attempt to contact me - so please do not assure folks that Curators will always try to raise active managers first.
Had one of them contacted me before one merge, I could have explained to him that there was a problem -- basically someone had apparently gone - the parents of 'X" are MMM and YYYY - and look, there's a Census for MMM and YYY, same names, same general area and timeframe, must be same couple - so added the children from the Census to their MMM and YYY. However, their MMM had maiden name, parents they had from their info -- and these differed from the maiden name, parents, etc from the MMM in the Census (which I knew and was shown in "my" profiles because MMM of that Census was MMM of "my" profiles) ie it was not the same couple, just the same names. But now most of the children shown there matched the children in in "my" set. The person urging the Curator to do the merge was not in the Max Extended Family of any of the Profiles to be merged, nor did that person or the Curator contact me first.
And if you - or anyone - know any way to get the Curator disciplined for doing a Merge nor requested by a Family Member, I would love to know it. Or is that just a suggested guideline that Curators are free to ignore? Or is it now not even that?