I'm not sure how other countries are dealing with this, but it is a remarkable obstacle to genealogy in Australia.
Even in a conventional marriage, Mom, Dad and the kids often all have different last names. It used to be called Family Name, but for some reason they now don't always want to be identified as a family.
The battle over taking your husband's family name (or not) seems to be missing the point of a family name. To me, it doesn't matter so long as you all have the same name. If this is a problem, why not create a whole new name? You will end up as an identifiable family, rather than a household of individuals. Family Name? - not any more.
Hyphenated names are even worse. Which name comes first? There seems to be a 50/50 split at present. In my own family tree, Mr John Douglas married Evelyn Sweet-Escott. Their daughter is Cheryl Sweet-Escott. John is now frequently addressed as John Escott. He doesn't like it. Deserved!
Some people must just hate genealogists - and families.